One of the challenges of travelling solo is that you are on your own alot. However being alone does not necessary mean that you feel lonely. There are times when you want to be alone in your own space and you enjoy the solitude. I have discovered that loneliness is a feeling that can strike even when you are with a room full of friends or with your partner.
So it is not being alone that makes you feel lonely. I think it is when you do not feel a sense of connection/unity/one-ness whether it is with another human being, God, nature or your pet. There are people who love the solitude and prefer to be alone yet they never feel loneliness. There are people who have people around them all the time, yet they feel lonely and alone.
There have been the occasional times that I have felt lonely, it is usually only very short lived as I simply change my state of being by remembering that I am connected to everyone, to the earth and to God. While I may be alone from time to time on this journey I am never really lonely.
It was in May 2008 when I was in Cairns getting my Padi open water diving certification. Twelve months has passed and now I get to dive again. I am a little nervous because I can barely recall how to put the equipment together. Fortunately I was diving with a very experienced ex-dive instructor who was extremely patient and guided me through everything once again.
What has me mesmerised about scuba diving that it is a totally foreign environment. The silence is deafening, so serence, the only thing you can hear is yourself breathing. The colours of this world is nothing like what you get above the water, it is vibrant and so full of life. It can almost seem impossible to have so much activity when you are looking at it from above.
I feel like an awkward mermaid, with my bulky tank, this mask pushed up against my face and this big black round thing on my mouth, my regulator. I must be the 0ddest looking thing underwater. I bounce around like a new born trying to find my feet. After about 10 dives I “get it” how to control my bouyancy using my breath, and that’s when I really start to notice what’s around me more.
Like a kid, I marvel at every little thing, beautiful coral formations, tropical fish darting in and out, that turtle swimming by which I try to swim after. It’s a beautiful world indeed and you should try it if you have ever had the inclination. It’s beautiful and magical.
What sane people would jump out of a perfectly good plane? Many have and so did I ! It was a 14,000 feet jump over Cairns and its was exhilerating ! It wasn’t until I was on the edge of the plane that I momentarily thought what the hell am I doing but of course the tandem master does not give you much time to think before he decides its time to jump. Free falling for 60 seconds was the most thrilling experience to realise that you are. However what I envisaged that it would feel like was not what it actually felt like. It was more like floating and to think that you are falling at about 200km /hour seems unreal. The only indication that you are moving at that speed was the noise of the wind and seeing the land below getting closer and closer. When the parachute opened the world below seems so serene and peaceful. I absolutely enjoyed it and can understand now why a sane person would too or maybe I am insane 
Seven weeks of sailing from Mooloolaba to Cairns, five yachts of different shapes, sizes, comfort levels and too many islands and bays to count, I am a little closer to understanding why the sea life can be so captivating.
Whether it is a mega yacht or a small 28ft there are no pretenses, you are looking at the same beautiful sunrises and sunsets in some of the most magical places in the world. When you are out at sea, you are mercy to the elements and nature. Sure some vessels would be a bit more comfortable than others but its the same conditions out there for all.
There is so much to learn, firstly all things nautical has its own language. A rope is not just any rope, it can be called different things depending what it does. The other thing to get use to is in sailing trying to get somewhere fast doesn’t work in your favour. Your engine is the wind, and strong winds might give you more speed, but too strong and its hell on the water.
You definitely learn to appreciate, being conservative with the use of water and power. Trying to do things with the boat bopping about can be challenge, but so far its been all good. I’ve had the occasional mild sea sickness which for me has been quickly relieved when I take the helm.
I am still a little overwhelmed with all there is to learn, and it definitely will take thousands of nautical miles in all conditions to really get an overall perspective. Its all great fun.
I was thinking about the meaning of Freedom and what it means to me my so called Journey of Freedom. Living in Australia we enjoy civil freedom that sometimes we take for granted and it is not until we find ourselves in another city/country where things are different do we appreciate that. I appreciate that I have the freedom to be me, what ever, however I wish to define that to be. That lead me to contemplate a little deeper, in that we are all to some extent a product of conditioning of our past experiences, the society we live in so are we really free to create ourselves as we choose to be. I think to be free is be able to create you, your life, your beliefs, the essence of you in whatever it is that you choose. It is like a blank canvas that you can create a masterpiece that is you/your life without restrictions. Is that really possible? Are we really free or we just think we are? Its like trying to persuade someone to your way of thinking but doing it in away that makes them believe it was their idea so you get total buy in. Is it possible that what you think are your thoughts/ beliefs are someone elses. Can you think completely outside of that and decide for yourself what it is that you really want and believe in. If we can do that then we are less likely to be manipulated by the media, society and religion. If in the basis of everything Love is the guiding light then we are always going to be creating ourselves and our life as we choose. That to me is Freedom.
Since leaving Sydney on the 22nd April for the Sunshine Coast I raced in my 4th Dragon Boat Nationals and the last race for the season. I always enjoy racing, it brings out the best in the team but what I love most is regardless of the outcome we celebrate. We celebrate the experience, the participation, the connections, the highs and lows. The team camaderie is what keeps me coming back season after season.
After the races, a group of us went to the Gold Coast. We went to Dreamworld and it was such a thrill going on all the rides. It was like being a kid at the biggest playground. Those hair raising rides made my senses alive with excitement. It is part of the journey that I wanted to continue to have the exuberance of youthfulness. You don’t have to go on rides to feel this, in fact just mucking around in a kids playground can be as much fun. Just do it when the kids are not there.
I had the chance to hang out with my friend Lana’s two children when I stayed with them in Brisbane. It was a very up close and personal experience of family life in suburbia Brisbane. I often wonder why those experiences are not endearing me to have a family of my own, in fact they do the opposite. It makes me scratch my head in wonder as to what it is that I am not seeing or feeling that gives people the desire to have a family.
I think children are adorable, innocent, and expressions of pure love. Perhaps that is what draws us to want to have them besides the biological drive to procreate for survival of the species. When we are with children we admire their innocence, honesty, pure love, joy and their total focus on the moment of Now. We wish we could be like them yet we feel it is impossible when you have responsibility, jobs, mortgages and children of your own. However to be childlike is the key to capturing that essence of childhood. What does that mean? I mean to have the exuberance and excitement all that you do. To explore and learn new things all the time rather than to simply sticking with what you know or are good at. There is something enchanting when one can have the wisdom of life experiences yet retain childlike qualities.
Where am I planning to go many people have asked and my answer has been my plan is to not have a plan. That is what this journey to freedom is about for me. Being open to new experiences, new connections, saying yes has opened a whole new world to discover. It makes life interesting. Too many of us get stuck in the routine of working, watching TV, keeping up with the latest gadgets, becoming boxed into a certain way of living.
Adventure, Insights, Observation, Truth | Tina | 
August 25, 2009 9:55 pm | 
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